Negligent Mom Tries to Take Away Daughter's Disney World Trip Because Her Younger Brother Threw a Tantrum About Not Going

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 10, 2023 9:00 AM EDT

Many families with autistic children have a major problem with ignoring the needs of their non-autistic children. While the autistic sibling gets showered with attention and their feelings are always considered, the neurotypical kids' needs get overlooked because they're not perceived as equally important. This type of child has been termed the "glass child." 

"Glass children are siblings of a person with a disability. The word glass means people tend to see right through them and focus only on the person with the disability. "Glass" is also used because the children appear strong, but in reality are not. These children have needs that are not being met"

One glass child took to Reddit to share her story of her mom pressuring her not to go on a trip to Disney World with her best friend's family because it would hurt her autistic little brothers' feelings. Suffice it to say this story is absolutely heartbreaking. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmltheAsshole u/Prestigious-Push47 • 21h 31 AITA for telling my mom that I don't give about my autistic brother? a Not the A-hole 1 My (16F) parents didn't have much time for me after my brother (9M) was born and it got even worse after he was diagnosed with autism when he was 3. My dad is rarely home and my mom is always busy with my brother so neither of them have time for me.
    via u/Prestigious-Push47
  • 02
    Font - I've known my best friend "Rachel" since we were in kindergarten. Her mom is the nicest person I've ever met. Rachel and I played soccer but my mom was rarely able to take me to practices and games so Rachel's mom would always take me. I used to be in the school choir and my parents went to like one performance during the six years I did it. Rachel's mom was at every performance for me even though Rachel wasn't in choir.
    via u/Prestigious-Push47
  • 03
    Font - Those are just a few examples, but Rachel's mom has always been there for me when my parents weren't available. My mom never really cares what I'm doing unless she needs me to watch my brother so I spend a lot of time at Rachel's house. Once I spent a whole weekend there and my mom didn't even call to ask where I am. Rachel's family go on a lot of vacations and they often take me.
    via u/Prestigious-Push47
  • 04
    Font - They're going to Disney World during Thanksgiving break and invited me to come with them. I asked my dad and he said I could go. They've already planned and booked everything and I'm really excited. I've been to Disneyland once with my family and it was horrible. My brother threw a huge tantrum on the first day because he wanted to go on the rides alone and sit between mom and dad so I had to stay in the hotel most of the time.
    via u/Prestigious-Push47
  • 05
    Font - My brother found out that I'm going to Disney and he had a really big melt down. He loves Disney and he was mad that I was going without him. My mom told me that she was planning to go to Washington to visit my grandparents. My dad didn't say anything about that so I'm pretty sure she just made that up to stop me from going. And even if they are going, I don't want to. I don't want to go on a fourteen hour car ride with my brother and I'm pretty sure when we get there they're either going
    via u/Prestigious-Push47
  • 06
    Font - She told me that I need to think about my brother and his feelings are more important because he's younger and autistic. I told her that I honestly don't give a about my brother's feelings and I wish he was never born. He was there when I said all this and he's been crying and screaming for the last three hours and it's giving me a headache. My mom has been trying to calm him down and my dad said that he'll still let me go because he understands I'm frustrated (he also grew up with a neur
    via u/Prestigious-Push47
  • 07
    Font - EDIT: Idk if this is important but we live in California and went to Disneyland in Anaheim. I'm going to Disney World in Orlando with Rachel's family. I think my brother does somewhat understand that Disney World has more fun stuff which makes him more. mad. I didn't tell him anything and I'm pretty sure my dad didn't either, so either he overheard us talking or my mom told him.
    via u/Prestigious-Push47
  • 08
    Font - EDIT 2: I was 11 when the Disneyland incident happened. My brother was mostly nonverbal then but when we were about to leave the hotel he started screaming and saying no while pointing at me. My parents calmed him down briefly but when we got on our first ride he started screaming again so my parents told me to go back to the hotel. I snuck out the second day and went on like two rides before I ran into my parents and they told me to back because they didn't want me to be out there alone.
    via u/Prestigious-Push47
  • 09
    Font - EDIT 3: I don't blame my brother for what happened at Disneyland. He was four. I blame my parents for not finding a better way to handle the situation. He was nonverbal at that time but he can talk now. He isn't high functioning exactly but he does understand what's going on around him. He has basic life skills but can't be on his own for very long.
    via u/Prestigious-Push47
  • 10
    Font - copper-feather - 21h Partassipant [4] 1 Award NTA. They've left you behind in hotels so they can enjoy vacations? They've gone days without even noticing you weren't home? Go be with your real family OP, because they sure aren't it. Reply 29.2k
    via u/copper-feather
  • 11
    Font - Heavy_Sand5228 • 19h Certified Proctologist [28] I find it so laughable that OP's mom tells her to be kinder to her brother when she won't even show kindness to her own daughter. ↑ 13k ...
    via u/Heavy_Sand5228
  • 12
    Font - Princess Bella1 • 19h I can't wait for the "talk" where OP's mom expects her to give up her life to take care of her brother when they can't any more. Because you know that is coming. ... 9.2k
    via u/PrincessBella1
  • 13
    Font - Heavy_Sand5228 - 19h Certified Proctologist [28] At which point, I hope OP is financially independent and low contact, or her parents have stopped neglecting her (though I'm not holding my breath on that one). ← ... 4.2k 4.2k
    via u/Heavy_Sand5228
  • 14
    Font - randomcharacheters 20h Partassipant [2] NTA. Who cares about a few unkind things you said when they took you to Disney, and LEFT YOU IN THE HOTEL because your brother said so. That's pretty wild, you deserve your fun Disney vacation too. And when you graduate from HS/college/whatever, invite Rachel's parents. Her mom sounds like the best. Reply 10.7k
    via u/randomcharacheters
  • 15
    Font - Completely Present · 21h ΝΤΑ The reason I'm excusing the devastating comment in front of your brother is because your mom has already prioritized him. This really sucks that a special needs child has hogged all the time, leaving none for you. Luckily, you have your friend and father to make life easier. This situation really highlights the complexity of having an autistic child - sure the right thing to do is help them, but is it right to give them 100% of your time and attention? ... ← R
    via u/CompletelyPresent
  • 16
    Font - Kingsdaughter613 - 20h As someone who has ASD, his behavior isn't from his ASD. It's because he's a spoiled brat. I have AuDHD - and I am a girl who was diagnosed Aspergers in the 90s, which took quite a bit. My immediately younger sister had severe learning disabilities. My youngest sister has a people pleaser personality. Despite their own issues (my mom has OCD and my dad probably has undiagnosed ADHD) they somehow managed to raise: a girl who is able to have a family and function in s
    via u/Kingsdaughter613
  • 17
    Font - Crispix44 19h Partassipant [2] You can't compare your experience with autism to this child's experience with autism. It's a pretty big spectrum. Your situation seems much more mild than his. I think these parents suck and I don't blame OP for spending time with her friends family and going to Disney without her family, but we also shouldn't blame this entire situation on an 8 year old boy who probably struggles every day. 4288 ↓
    via u/Crispix44
  • 18
    Font - -jellyfishparty- . 18h I don't think she's blaming it on the brother, just pointing out that the parents are enabling his behavior and actively disregarding the daughter. And you can't decide that her experience is "mild" just from a single comment. Just because she's had accomplishments doesn't mean she hasn't struggled. Using "mild" to describe someone's autism is also just generally speaking rude. ... 41.2k
    via u/-jellyfishparty-
  • 19
    Font - Comfortable-Sea-2454 • 21h Professor Emeritass [93] NTA - you are 16 and very frustrated that your brother has taken over your parents lives completely leaving you out in the cold. THEN when you get a chance to go on vacation with your friend and her family, said brother throws a tantrum and dear ole Mom wants to take the vacation away from you to keep brother from screaming. Soft Y-TA for saying what you did in front of your brother, who is another innocent in this whole mess, but you ar
    via u/Comfortable-Sea-2454
  • 20
    Rectangle - 1-Dragonfly 20h See if you can move into Rachel's house, your parents will probably not even realize that you've moved out... until they need a babysitter. Reply 715 ...
    via u/1-Dragonfly
  • 21
    Rectangle - Prestigious-Push47 OP 20h I've considered it but I don't want to be even more of a burden on Rachel's family. They already do so much for me. ... 733
    via u/Prestigious-Push47
  • 22
    Font - nunyaranunculus 19h ● Oh, OP. You aren't a burden. You have only been conditioned by abusive parents into thinking you are. I honestly wouldn't doubt if your friend's parents haven't talked about it behind closed doors. 760
    via u/nunyaranunculus
  • 23
    Font - fibrofatigued. 21h NTA due to your age and parentification. Ok fine it wasn't nice what you said about your brother - but who's stopped to consider your feelings? Reply ... 358
    via u/fibrofatigued
  • 24
    Font - GRA XX_bot77. 21h NTA, OP. Parentification is ABUSE. Your "family" obviously doesn't care about you and your mother has some nerve to call you ungrateful. Like what would you be grateful for ? She's neglectful and only remembers you exist when she needs help with your brother... Reply 305
    via u/XX_bot77

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Tags

family drama aita autism brother reddit story disney world true story dad family subreddit reddit thread daughter Reddit mom Parenting Fail disneyland Parenting FAILS
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